I caught her eye from across the room. It was glass and she’d suffered a violent sneezing fit. It was the start of something… unique.
How do you define a date? A question that seems appropriate for this time of year, even if I am a few days late for Valentine’s day.
Not long ago I went out with a female friend of mine. We spent the evening in a pub getting pleasantly tipsy, swapping stories and giggling together, generally enjoying each other’s company. At the end of the night I walked back to the station with her to see her on to her train, we hugged goodbye and I walked home. It was only on my way back I was struck by the thought that if that had been a first date I would have considered it a reasonably successful one (I’d have been confident of getting a second date anyway), so why didn’t I consider it a date? Which takes me back to the original question, how do you define a date?
Can you go on dates with friends? If so then I do it quite a lot without realising it but I’ve always thought of it as ‘going for a drink with a friend’ rather than a date. So does that mean you can only go on a date with a stranger? Certainly in my experience what I would call ‘proper dates’ have been with girls I didn’t know very well. But then I know people who have been on dates with people they called friends but maybe didn’t know that well so perhaps it doesn’t really matter if you already know each other or not.
So what is that magical something that defines a date? Spending the evening with someone you can flirt with? I flirt with my friends so it can’t just be that. Spending the evening with someone you want to sleep with? I’d probably sleep with most of the girls I know given the right circumstances so it can’t just be that either. Does it has to be a combination if these things then? What makes you want to go on a date with someone in the first place? Certainly attraction has to be there to start with, that glance or smile that makes you want to go and talk to someone. Then you have to be able to talk, flirt and laugh together, wanting to get to know each other better so you will become friends later. But I think the most defining thing about a date, what makes it a date (a good one anyway), is almost indefinable. It’s that spark, that click, that makes you forget about everyone else in the room. The smiles and glances that carry on even though you’re sitting in front of each other. The desire to want to spend more time together, the desire to be close to each other which leads eventually to kissing and sex.
So that is what is missing from my nights out with female friends and keeps them from being dates, that indefinable spark.
I do like being able to answer my own questions 🙂
Well, is there? For blokes I mean, in a romantic situation. It seems to me that girls don’t have this problem, if she’s wearing a skirt or a dress it gets undone, it drops to the floor, she steps out of it, no problem. Even if she is wearing trousers or jeans she can do that thing where she bends her knees slightly, arches her back and slips them down her legs and again just steps out of them. If she’s more flexible she might be able to push them straight down by bending at the waist and once more just steps out of them. All of the above also add a certain anticipation to the proceedings as they are all very sexy actions.
Now I just can’t imagine a bloke being able to drop his strides with anything like the poise and allure women can manage. Men are just naturally more clumsy, it’s all hopping about on one leg, crashing into walls, knocking stuff off shelves and generally killing the mood. Worst case scenario you trip over your own belt, smash your face on the end of the bed and spend the next four hours in casualty trying to come up with a convincing explanation for the nasty cut and missing teeth. Even if you get a girl who is obliging enough to try and help you take them down you still have the ignominy of standing on leg at a time as she takes them off your feet. Laying on the bed doesn’t help either, you just end up feeling a bit helpless and slightly ridiculous as you hold your legs up for her
And come on, let’s face it, women are just nicer to look at than men. It’s much more pleasurable to watch a smooth, shapely leg being slowly revealed than a hairy, veiny one, no matter how flexible or graceful the man may be. And even if he does manage to slip his jeans down his legs in a remotely sensual way, he’ll still have his socks on when he steps out of them